ahh, the joys of parenthood. they’re awesome, fulfilling, and incredible. sometimes incredibly frustrating. but incredible, nonetheless.
li’l G has decided to help completely shift my thoughts on parenting and what will fly and won’t. I’ve mentioned this before, but I never thought I’d be co-sleeping with my infant. I also thought I’d be allowed more than five minutes free of said infant, to do basics like you know, taking a shower. or going to the bathroom. or eating a full meal. [I’m just asking for the basics here!]
apparently my son has different intentions.
I have never seen a baby so attached to one person [I’ll let you figure out who that one person is – ahem]. when S was a wee little one, she HATED to be held. she’d eat, and then she wanted some downtime in her own chair. far away from the grasps of eager & loving grandmas, uncles and aunts. as R & I saw her all the time, it didn’t bother me too bad then. looking back, I was surprisingly productive. she also slept on her own with little to no problem, so my bed was, well, my bed.
this time around, we have exactly the opposite in him. he eats like a champ [which, it should be noted, that S really struggled to nurse for a few weeks – between a sleepy newborn and first-time-mom who had no idea what she was doing, it was a frustrating experience at first]. G, on the other hand, has had no trouble figuring out that piece of life. he just doesn’t want me to ever leave him after that. he wants to be held [mostly by me]; he wants to sleep [mostly next to or on me]; he wants to snuggle [again, mostly by me].
in my head, I keep trying to remind myself that in a few years, I’ll miss this – that G will no longer be so attached to me, that I’ll want him to be snuggling with me, and sad that it isn’t happening anymore. I also have to remember that he’s a mere five weeks old, and that I may have had unrealistic expectations about what life looks like with two children. I’m a very structured, “I have a plan” kind of gal, and it’s annoying to me when my plan gets disrupted. by anything [just ask R how many fights we’ve had over half-baked plans that threaten my concrete ones – it’s not always pretty].
so this has been my reality for the past few weeks. and I’m going to accept it. I cannot change his temperament [as much as I may want to, in the short term anyway]. I have to become more realistic about what I can and cannot accomplish in a day [which is probably not the full schedules I’ve been attempting to maintain since his birth]. and this goes for me at most times, but I need to look around me and take stock of how life is now. I can get so caught up in what I “need” to accomplish in a day, or what’s coming down the pipe for us as a family that I loose sight of what is going on right in front of me at the current moment.
so I plan to do just that – to take a deep breath, enjoy what is happening right now, and enjoy each day with my kiddos. they won’t be little for forever [or, even for that long!] and I certainly don’t want to miss it.