there’s no crying … well, actually there is

R’s beloved aunt loves to quote “there’s no crying in baseball”. fortunately, I do not play baseball. I’m a horrible athlete. but when it comes to moving across the country, I’m a pro. and there is definitely crying involved there.

R left town Saturday morning – my dad & my brother-in-law joined him in the 1100 mile trek eastward. because of how our flights worked out, I knew I’d miss seeing the two of them at the airport. my mother-in-law came over for her official good-bye to R. needless to say, it was sad good-byes all around.

then, I crashed at my parents house, waiting around for my mom to get back into town and gratefully using her spare bedrooms, given that R took all of the mattresses with him. I won’t lie – I enjoyed the quiet. we’ve been on the go for about a month now, saying good-bye to everyone, and it was nice to just stay inside, ignore the heat, and mindlessly watch some tv with the kiddos. mom drove into town sunday night. she joined in the mindless tv watching [given her life right now, I know it was a welcome break]. we got Mexican food, we did a little laundry, and then we prepped for the harrowing journey of flying with two kids the following day. I say that slightly sarcastically, given our technological and modern comforts. but, still. it’s a full day of a total of three flights with two kids under four [enough numbers for you?!?]

at the airport Tuesday, I was an emotional wreck. I’ve obviously flown before, but not by myself in a while. I had to have everything organized for myself and the kids, and then try to balance myself emotionally. my sister, M, drove us to the airport. I sat in the backseat with S, willing myself not to cry that early into the morning. [I was almost successful]. we got through check-in substantially faster than I thought we would, so we had more time to stand around and try to deflect our emotions for a little bit longer. given that we were wrangling all three kids [my nephew joined in the early morning party], that was relatively easy.

and then, I couldn’t put it off any longer, and had to get in line at security. my mother-in-law came with a couple of her good friends, and we said good-bye. let me just give props where props are due – this women willingly allowed us to stay with her [rent free, I might add] for over seven months, helped me chase S around when I was still pregnant [and after!], and has been nothing but supportive for R’s career and us emotionally. it was a rough good-bye.

and then came the biggie. my sister & best friend. I had no words. I just let myself cry, and didn’t try to say anything. we’ve been good friends our whole lives, and best friends as we’ve gotten older. she helped me birth my two kids; she has willingly watched them over the past four years [as I have her son]. there have been countless dinners at each others houses, tons of nights where we’ve watched movies while the husbands played video games, and many a shopping date. we just click on so many levels, and it sucks that we’re not as geographically close as we want to be. it sucks bad.

the trip itself wasn’t so bad; S really took to it. she colored many a coloring book, and chewed gum all day to pop her ears. it was adorable. G ate & slept, and clearly wasn’t bothered by the air pressure. he bounced between my mom and I, and was awesomely chill the whole time. Mom and I got where we needed to go, and were [as one would expect] just tired when the day was through.

it was AWESOME to see R when we disembarked! we’d been separated for four days, and it was great to be back together. we grabbed our bags, and headed to our new home. almost nothing was officially unpacked; we ordered take-out, let Mom crash on our air mattress, and started to get to work. in the end, it took almost four days to unpack, clear out the trash, and get things settled & decorated. even with Mom’s awesome help, it was a long four days.

we are not moving again for a long time.

this will be in a different post, but we headed to the beach. Mom & I found a fantastic Mexican restaurant not far from our place. and, all too soon, I had another good-bye.

Mom had rented a car to drive back to her parents place [that is a super long story – I may write that up later, but know that all is not well for my grandparents, physically and medically speaking, and my mom has been helping them survive for the past few months]. I dropped her off to get her car, and drove back to my apartment with tears streaming down my face. I have always lived within a 20 mile radius of my parents & family – 1100 miles is just crazy. I think reality hit me a bit, also, that we’re on our own for a bit. I have no doubt we’ll make friends and settle into an awesome church, or that R won’t hit it off with his fellow professors. but at this very moment, we don’t have that and it made me sad and scared and nervous and everything in between.

there are, of course, positive notes to talk about. Charleston, as we all know, is an amazing city. it is beautiful, quiet, and relatively compact – nothing is more than twenty minutes away, and when you’re coming from Kansas City, that’s amazing! we made time for the beach, and enjoyed the sea, sun, and seashells. there is amazing food here, specifically at Folly Beach Crab Shack [amazing crab cakes, fried pickles, & hushpuppies – yum!]. and let’s not forget the amazing Mexican restaurant – we’ll definitely be back! S is taking it all in stride; there haven’t been any huge emotional freak outs. she is, of course, tired from the travel day and not having a peaceful room to nap in, but that has mostly been taken care of after a couple good nights of sleep. G has been doing great – him in a room with four walls to take a nap in has been fabulous! R is excited; we’re mostly settled, and now he can get to work and enjoy this awesome city that his success has brought us to.

I’m excited, as well. we have our own place, which is 95% complete. we’re back in a rhythm and routine that is mostly familiar to us. we have the internet [i.e., we have FaceTime & Skype, which we will make the most of!] and like I told R before we moved, I’m grateful for his job, and just as grateful for airplanes.

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on the road (eventually)

this isn’t a real post, so fair warning. we have been in the midst of the impending move, filling those final
boxes, scrambling to see friends for the last, official time while we live here, and trying to not cry, fall apart, or just cave to emotionalism as we do so. [some days are more successful than others].

R drives out Saturday; I fly out Tuesday with the kids.

wow.

tomorrow, we load the truck. I’m not kidding, I’m at the point of just trying to keep it together for S. I can’t cry for four days without her thinking something is wrong! right? right.

anyway, once we’re settled, I’ll update with photos [both old and new] and social info. in the meantime, I’m going to allow myself to pause in the midst of this craziness, allow the emotions to well over, and then buck up because this move is awesome! love all of you – be back soon!

ups & downs [and then up again!]

we’ll keep it short today – not because I don’t want to share more details of my lovely life with you wonderful folks. it’s just that the main event of the week is this evening, and we will be sure to post all of the fun and fabulous photos of tonight’s festivities. for those of you on the fence as to whether you’ll be headed out to our Carolina Jubilee – please come! I may have mascara running down my face all night long, and many kleenex boxes may be used, but it will all be in the awesome name of saying good-bye to all of you lovely people who have made Kansas City so special and so dear to us.

in other news, my son may actually be learning to sleep on his own! glory be! we’re figuring him out, he’s figuring us out and it’s all good. he’s such a great smiler right now! he definitely looks like a Milner. for a while, he had a bit of S in him, but that’s fading. over the 4th, many an Asby confirmed how much he looks like R and his uncle, E.

S has been her awesome self. she’s loving school right now, I think mostly due to the large amount of art projects they’ve been doing this summer. I think she’ll flow right into preschool with little problems. apparently all that work on her LeapFrog and iPad is paying off – the kid can make some decent letters and “read” some familiar books. it just warms this li’l English mama’s heart!

on a more sober note, my uncle is doing better. for those of you who followed the drama on FB, you know our family rushed down to Springfield this last weekend. he had had a massive heart attack the night before, and ended up being LifeFlighted from his home in southern MO to a hospital in Springfield. we rushed, mostly because the doctors didn’t think he’d make it through Sunday. my mom and grandma flew in from Kentucky [which is another LONG story as to why she’s there – needless to say, this has not been my mom or her family’s year]; his son flew in from his naval base in California; his girlfriend had been there the whole time, and her family was there to support her and see him, as well. even into Monday, the staff was prepping the family to say they’re good-byes and warning he wouldn’t last though the night.

and then he woke up! he’d been in a medically-induced coma for a couple of days, wasn’t responded how he should have to prove brain functionality, and then woke up as people were saying their heartfelt good-byes – wow! he’s far from out of the woods; he’s still in the ICU and they’re running tons of tests on him to see where he stands currently. as my mom has said, though, just take it a day at a time because that’s all they can handle at the moment.

with the exception of my uncle, this week has been what you would expect for a family moving half a continent away. we’ve been packing, hanging out with the kids, watching my nephew, and officially saying good-bye to friends. tonight is, of course, the big shindig and I look forward to seeing some awesome friends and family! photos and hilarious stories will follow soon.

at the end of this month, I will live in a new state …

and time keeps marching on! the milner fam has only two [count ’em, two] more weekends in town! holy moly, it’s going by fast.

too fast in many respects, especially concerning family and friends. and not fast enough, in terms of the actual move and packing. I will love, love, love having my own place again! R & I were daydreaming a couple of days ago about settling in – how we’d set the kitchen up, what little knick-knacks we needed for the bathroom. well, I was thinking of knick-knacks. he was thinking of movie posters for the living room.

my mother-in-law has been fabulous. for those who don’t know this back story, here’s the down and dirty real quick. we sold our house [finally!] back in December. that in and of itself is another story. anyway, it gets sold, but we have no where to go for the in-between time before R was going to get a job. it wasn’t quite long enough for lease anywhere else, but obviously it was still a substantial amount of time to live with anyone. she graciously offered her basement, and the now four of us have been crashing here every since. we have our own living space, and then share the kitchen and bathroom. it’s certainly not the worst place, and she has been gracious ever since we moved in. she and S have had an awesome chance to hang out, too – they have a lovely Saturday morning “Cartoon Day” tradition, complete with pancakes and Team Umi Zoomi.

it’s been almost seven months, and we’re eager to get into our own, unique Milner rhythm. R said it’d be like Christmas, opening boxes we haven’t seen in months! and our new place is awesome – I’m eager to get in there and get settled.

we’re having a, as R calls it, “Life Event” party next week. it’s many events rolled into one, including graduation, my birthday, G’s birth, getting a job, and saying good-bye. if you’re in town, you’re more than welcome to stop by! we’d love to see as many as people as possible before we load up the truck in two weeks.

p.s. we took family photos, both of the four of us, the in-laws, and ALL the great-grandchildren over the 4th – once our cousin gets them processed, we’ll post a few. there are some killer ones of S & G!