I’m free! well, for the moment anyway. thank the Lord for my beautiful husband who recognized the crazy look that was developing in my eye the last week or so. it was the look of a crazed, desperate woman who needed an escape, and quick.

he identified it, came in like Superman, told me that under no circumstances should I stay inside any longer, and made me leave the house.


so, at this very moment, I’m in a cute, quirky coffee shop with a delicious mocha. I’ve got Andrew Bird in my ear bud, with the chance to catch my breath.

I’ve been sad since I got home. I loved, loved, loved being in KC for Christmas. we were surrounded by love like I hadn’t felt in a while. dear family, wonderful friends, and tons of laughs, memories, and celebrations for two weeks – it was water for a very thirsty soul. once we were back in Charleston, the withdraw symptoms were intense. everyone had daily living to rush back to, but it was not easy for me. I was a tired, sad mess.

we have wonderful friends here in Charleston, and we quickly met back up with them. that was nice, a little salve on an opened wound. and we all agreed – going back home is tough. you love it, but then the crash back is awful. unfortunately, this is coming from families who have lived here for five years or more. apparently, it doesn’t get easier as time goes on.

we decided to make church a priority this month, and really intentionally look for a church we could call home. we went to a local Episcopal church, not five minutes away from our apartment.

it. was. awesome.

I feel like some might read that, and wonder how “Episcopal” and “awesome” go together, but they did. it was like a light was lit in my soul; I felt at home. I haven’t felt at home in a church for a while – it was nice to feel that again. we really liked the mix of traditional practices, and contemporary worship and honest reflection on our walks with the Father. we met some wonderful people who run the nursery, and I immediately had an invite to the ladies Bible study. we get to take traditional communion, and make the sign of the cross. they have a lovely reverend, who seems like a nice Southern grandpa, with the love of the Father all over him.

we won’t make any official decisions quite yet, but we were both fans.

all of that was to say, the Father provides. He provided for me emotionally that morning, when I was still sad and hurting and feeling lonely. I’m still up and down, especially the kids are being particularly difficult. but, He’s given me an amazing husband who has made this transition as smooth as possible, and both have been faithful up til now. I can’t imagine either failing me anytime soon.


home is what you make of it

I sit in my dear friends’ home, enjoying [another] cup of coffee and staring in amazement at the winter wonderland around me. I don’t want to be too hyper-spiritual about the weather, but I certainly feel like the snow is a special present for me. how I love it! being home in December is such an amazing blessing.

it is New Year’s Eve, as well. I don’t want to be too sentimental about one date out the year. resolutions seem silly to me. [unless you have a plan, and then well, they’re more like goals. which I do like.] it has been quite a year though, and reflection concerning it seems appropriate it.

at the start of January, I lived with my mother-in-law & brother-in-law. in a basement. with a then three-year-old and another kiddo clearly on the way. R had no clear cut idea what he’d be doing come August. he was in the midst of his dissertation, trying to navigate a before unknown world of employment. I was just trying to get through a day without a nap.

no, I was no always successful.

I was trying to sub part-time, which didn’t always happen. R needed plenty of work days, which meant I stayed home because there was no one else to watch S through the day. alternatively, I watched my nephew as well, and we did what we could to get by.

then, March came around and brought a gift in R landing a job. a tenure-track, full-time, benefits, by the ocean job. a dream! we each breathed a sigh of relief; bills would be paid, food could be purchased, and the thought that we’d be living off relatives for an extended period of time had settled into dust. as we announced the job placement, families & friends equally rejoiced with us and were saddened to discover the distance. 1100 miles is a long, far away place.

we had a baby – a healthy, lively, adorable son who insisted he was hungrier than any kid I’ve seen before. already, he’s over seven months old, sleeping through the night, attempting to crawl all around our apartment, and eating like a champ.

and then we moved. moved so, so far away. I’ve written all about it, and you can see how I’ve handled that emotionally. I would argue, considering I’ve never lived away from home, I did okay. we all did okay. there are still some sad days.

I miss my sister. a lot.

but, through it all, I think we’ve made it all right. R is nice and settled in; he made a few friends, and we have not been without fellowship and interaction. S is still in love with school, and clearly Charleston will be her hometown. the same holds for G, as he was a solid 10 weeks old when we moved him cross-country.

we found we still like each other, as a family. that’s a nice bonus, given how much we had to rely on one another through it all. we love our new city – so much so, R has sworn off all KC sports teams. [yes, he is a hypocrite and apparently doesn’t like football all that much.] he now is a Carolina Panthers fan; though, I can’t say too much. I follow the Saints now, so the Chiefs may not get too much play in the near future. we love the beach, and the parks, and the historic downtown, and all that comes with living in a city that was originally a colony before the United States officially formed.

so, you take the bad with the good. we knew for six-plus years we wouldn’t live at home, and I think that time period allowed for us to adjust in a decent amount of time. I look forward to this new year, as an official South Carolina resident, and experiencing all that the city offers.

2013 will be a grand year. first birthdays, new nieces [& possibly nephews], the start of kindergarten. the ability to grow in wisdom and love, to find life enjoying and fulfilling in ways I wouldn’t have thought possible before. I eagerly look forward to it.

happy christmas!

we’re eagerly awaiting Santa in the Midwest! and enjoying the snow that surprisingly came the night we flew in! as our cousin noted, it was definitely the universe saying “Welcome home!”

out east, we prepped our letters for Santa. S is so very, very excited to inform Santa as to her wishlist. a-dor-able.



And now, the eagerly awaited drop off!IMG_1611




and … face plant. but she was excited! IMG_1659

we were somewhat prepared for the winter. we did know snow was a possibility. does she have gloves? no. does she have boots? no.

regardless, we made it work and she had a blast!


R was not prepared either. he stuffed his jeans into his dress socks into his shoes. it was hilarious. [I say, as I stayed inside with the baby, drinking coffee. I was nice and warm]


and they had a blast! she ran around for as long as her legs could stand it, and then she ran inside with a freezing cold face and legs. it was an incredible welcome back to Kansas City. as Christmas is tomorrow, we’re in heaven. we’ve seen my family, R’s family, friends, and then we’ll repeat. it’ll be an awesome week!

I hope all of you have a wonderful time with your own families, should you celebrate this holiday!