Fresh Starts

‘Beginnings could happen more than once or in different ways.’

– Rachel Joyce, The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry

 

It’s been a bit quiet over here for a while. For a long time, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say in this space, to be quite honest. Even now, I’m still wrestling with what my voice will sound like, look like – I’m finding I’m more comfortable with the thought of that, and accepting that it’s totally okay to not have all the answers for how the blog should look. I tend to not do something [okay, a lot of things] because of my ever present fear of failure, rejection and potential humiliation. I also absorb styles, voices, templates, and other blogs m.o.’s, to the point that I’m not sure what is my voice as opposed to a parroting of someone else. So these are baby steps, to restart something creative in my life and do it just because I want to, to see what’s really in my soul and thoughts.

I feel like one reason why the blog stumbled a bit last time was due super specific kiddo posts. That is, after all, where the idea for this space started, due to our major move. But one kiddo is old enough to be aware that social media exists, and rather consistently will only grant permission for a photo with the caveat of “But don’t post it! Wherever you post it to, don’t do it!” [Even that, she probably wouldn’t love that I just shared]. I do respect social media autonomy. And her autonomy, just in general.

Beyond that, my life is more than just the kids.

Ha! Ehh … sometimes, anyway. I like to try and convince myself of that.

As I continue, they’ll be around, too, but I am going to free up space for what’s going on with all four of us and not feel like I have to box myself in. Do I want to write about knitting? Cool – that’s what I’ll do. Do I want to talk about the thousands of books I read this year? Awesome – there will probably be some really bad Instagramed photos of their titles. Will I make you totally jealous of my new-ish location with beach photos? Definitely. Do I want to throw up a dozen photos of the kids, while I’m at it? Totally [with permission, of course].

Will I also talk about world topics, national & local drama, or whatever else I’ve been mulling over in my mind? Probably. Potentially yes, anyway. Will I talk about things that I’m interested in, but maybe don’t know a ton on? Yes – hopefully with humility, tons of questions, and a smidge of wisdom, with the hope that the wisdom will only grow.

Whatever this space ends up looking like, I’m hoping you enjoy the journey! Also, pictures of the kiddos. Because let’s be honest, they’re cute stuff that I can reel y’all back in with! [And yes, she approved of the photos this morning, knowing they’d be widely dispersed!]

Also, come on? How do you not share this one? A mischievous pair, these two.

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fabulous, restful weekends

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time.”

– Sir John Lubbuck

Happy mid-week, folks! I certainly hope this post finds all of you doing well this week, feeling well this week, and not merely surviving the week. Though, if that’s where you are, it is Thursday. [Say it with me: One more day, one more day, one more day … ]

One more day until the rushing and the bustling and the coming and going pauses. Allow yourself some time to rest; to sleep in [as late as your kids allow you to]; to go to that Farmer’s Market; to drink a cup of coffee as slowly and deliciously as possible; to read, and rest, and find some peace.

We had that kind of weekend just a handful of days ago. It began with our awesome, fantastic #FridayNightMovieNight. Sophia chose Hugo, the Scorsese film about wonder and adventure and secrets and good friends. It was a delight to watch again.

Dr. M had an intense work week; among his normal duties, they had two job candidates in that required research & teaching presentations; plus extra research; plus everything else. When it rains, it deluges, am I right? Needless to say, he was burnt out. So, we decided to intentionally go slow about Saturday, and not rush about anything. Typically he works through the weekend. Not so, this past one. We watched, and introduced, Sophia to Napoleon Dynamite. It was a bit over her head; she giggled when we giggled, clearly following our promptings, and she decidedly loved the dancing sequence at the end. We loved the opportunity to just sit, and giggle, and quote lines that we’ve now known for close to 10 years.

We lounged, we read good books, we decided to go to the park at some point, we stayed in our pajamas way past the point of typical social acceptance.

In short, it was awesome.

Sunday was great, as well. Sophia and I went to church, while Dr. M stepped back into work and hung out with Gabe. That li’l guy doesn’t always do well at church, so it was a win/win. We ate bad-for-you macaroni and cheese, and sleepily watched football until we just caved into drowsy naps.

Normally, I’m very excited for Mondays. I tend to get bored over the weekends; I feel especially pent up with the kids over the weekend, and I don’t like the lack of structure. Not this weekend.

This weekend, I mildly dreaded the grind of the upcoming week. I wanted the loose scheduled we had created over the past two days. It was lovely.

That being said, it was just the refreshment I, and I think all of us, needed. I woke up on Monday, on time and ready to workout [gasp!]; Sophia was well rested and ready for school to kick off; Gabe was in a fine mood all day. We had been so busy recently, running around with the folks and then the next week struggling in survival mode through my stomach bug. This Saturday and Sunday helped rejuvenate us in an amazing way.

We’re in the midst of another normal, typical week, but I’ll say my attitude is significantly different. I am beginning to see the value of rest; not just for its own sake, but also as a catalyst to be a more proficient worker, a better mom with a smile on my face, a more agreeable wife who helps to carry the stressful load that is being a junior professor.

I hope this upcoming weekend, even as it sets up a busy holiday week for many of us, is one of joy and rest and comfort. Even if it’s just one day of this weekend, find a spot to be still and calm and allow that rest to restore you. I’ll probably be greedy, and hope for both!

a Mighty Milner renewal

“You are the storyteller of your own life, and you can create your own legend, or not.”

Isabel Allende

 

my last post began with “I might be taking a break” … R always jokes that phrase is the first sign of a dying blog taking its final, gasping breaths. maybe, maybe not. in his defense, it HAS been five months since I’ve written anything. oops.

I had a handful of reasons for not continuing on, at the moment anyway. I felt like maybe not a ton of people were necessarily reading, which maybe made me feel a little insecure. I wasn’t completely sure what I was writing for – was it for myself? for a “necessary” chronicling of our family’s events? for others? what did I want it to look like anymore? is it a photo diary, or a thoughtful pursual of my life? I’d hit a road block, and wasn’t sure what I wanted to say.

then, life hit the fast-forward button and things got cr-ah-zy. since May, the Mighty Milners have been in a state of travel craziness and/or survival on the home front, testing out “mightiness” a bit. I was so busy just trying to keep everyone alive, there would have been no time to write. of course, this is right when you would want something to cling to and focus on when so crazy busy. at the time, though, I felt like I was drowning in the everyday, mundane tasks that incessantly demanded my attention. the blog was the last thing on my mind.

since then, we’ve moved into a townhouse and are feeling significantly more settled in our hometown. we’re also gearing up for the fall; for work, and school for S. there’s so much happening now, and about to happen as we enter the world of official school, as li’l G continues to grow and not be so little, as I continue to get settled in this city we’re really beginning to dig into and live in. I’d hate to think or say that in the name of “being busy” I had no time for reflection or communication.

and there’s the reason[s] to come back and create a space for myself. all of the above reasons are valid to think through, and sort out, but they’re not reasons to quit writing. I love sharing our story with everyone; I love the act of writing; I love getting my thoughts sorted out and finding my voice in this loud, intense world. I hope you love following along, and seeing what we’re up to. I can’t wait to share the Mighty Milners thoughts, photos, & stories with all of you!

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this is what R likes to call our own “Wes Anderson” photo shoot – thanks to our fabulous friend for these amazing photos! [credit: Tabitha Todd]